9: Build Respect, Set Goals, and Maintain Relationships
The author obliquely discusses the importance of character: aside of being competent in one's profession, the people with whom you interact will consider matters of character when they determine whether they want to give you their business or work with you.
Building Respect
The author has done an informal survey of seminar attendees, asking them to write down four of five "qualities" of people whom they respect. He provides a long list of sample responses, but notes that four qualities seem to come up very often: dependable, honest, trustworthy, and respectful. These are virtually axiomatic (if a person embodied the opposite characteristic, they would be someone to be avoided).
People generally have negative stereotypes of others in certain roles. Of salesmen in particular, people expect them to be pushy, self-centered, and inconsiderate. It takes some effort to overcome these prejudices - and it's of particular importance, for those in certain professions, to be attentive to stereotypes and demonstrate the exact opposite of the negative stereotypes.
(EN: The author provides a laundry list of things to do or refrain from doing that should not have to be explained, but he does so anyway, in great detail. I'm skipping this.)
Set Goals
The author stresses the importance of having specific goals, and notes that even goals that seem impossibly large can be accomplished over time if you acknowledge them and take steps in the right direction.
He refers to the SMART acronym of goal-setting: be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-sensitive, and provides a quick explanation of each (EN: better information in other sources, so I'm skipping it).
He also speaks of visualization: determine what you want the desired end-state to be, then working backward to determine what things you have to do in order to achieve the ultimate goal.
The author refers to the notion that mystical forces will steer you toward success, but there is a very earthly and non-supernatural explanation: being aware of your goals, in detail, makes you more mindful of what it will require to achieve them, and better able to recognize opportunities to advance toward your desired end-state.
The author suggests written goals, as the act of writing something down has a psychological effect in creating a sense of commitment. Talking to others about your goals also creates a sense of commitment, and it gives others the opportunity to help you achieve them.
The author suggests revisiting goals: writing them down at first, then revising them at least once a month as a way to appreciate your progress (which is good for morale), to reaffirm your commitment to them, and to reconsider/revise if needed.
In terms of goal-setting, the author notes three common problems: unrealistic goals, too many goals, and an unwillingness to pay the price.
Many sources on goal-setting utilize hyperbole - the blind man who climbed Mount Everest - to suggest that big things are possible. But some things are simply too big for most people to achieve, and setting impossible goals leads people to bitterness and self-doubt for their inability to achieve them. A goal can be challenging, and it may require a lot of effort, but ultimately you have to be reasonable.
The problem with too many goals is that it's difficult to focus sufficient effort to achieve them all, so you end up accomplishing nothing. While you can and should have more than one goal, be reasonable - and importantly, consider conflicting objectives, especially in terms of time, which is a scarce resource. The author's "rule of thumb" is six to eight at a maximum - half business, half personal.
Finally, there is the willingness to "pay the price" to achieve a certain goal. Many goals require considerable time and effort, which means making sacrifices. If your goal is to earn a college degree, it will take six to eight years (part-time), which means attending classes and studying on nights and weekends, spending less time with your family, and perhaps passing up some opportunities to take on extra work to advance in your career..
The author also mentions the importance of drawing on your network for support - specifically, seeking out people who will give you positive reinforcement and ignrnign he naysayers who will want to discourage or dissuade you.
Maintain Meaningful Relationships
The author suggests that the notion of lifetime value is critical to being in a relationship-oriented mindset. Salesmen, and businesses in general, can do things that are illegal, unethical, and damaging to their long-term success for the sake of a short-term "win," but those who enjoy the most success over time are not those who have a series of small victories, but those that take a long-term focus.
The author uses the example of a dry cleaner at which a customer spends $20 per week. It seems fairly small, but that comes to $1,000 per year - and considered over a 20- or 40-year period, each customer is quite valuable. If you can delight the customer, you can retain their business and even get them to recommend others. So when a customer claims you be missing a button off his shirt, it's unwise to bicker over the negligible cost of replacing it.
The author refers to "churn rate," the number of customers who leave a company every year for other suppliers, and need to be replaced by new ones. Mathematically, a small reduction in churn rate adds up, over the long run, to a significant increase in income. But even that estimate is based on customer behavior remaining the same, and does not consider the effect of increased share of wallet. Solid relationships with customers will contribute directly to their long-term loyalty, and decrease churn significantly.
The author also notes that the amount of effort it takes to maintain a relationship can be substantial, but then, so are the rewards of doing so. Even so, you may find yourself in a position of having to manage your time, and devote the greatest amount of effort to those customers who represent a greater lifetime value.
The author addresses the notion of time, as many people feel pressed for time, and that they're giving all they can, so investing the extra time to pursue and maintain relationships seems like an impossible task. The author provides a number of tips and tricks for managing time (making tasks lists, prioritizing, setting deadlines, avoiding unnecessary work, etc.) (EN: all of this is covered in better detail in other sources, so I'm skipping it.)
It's also noted that relationships are not self-sustaining and need periodic effort. It's entirely possible to re-encounter someone you haven't seen for years and try to rekindle the relationship with them, but it takes less effort in the long run to merely keep in touch. The author suggests developing "some sort of system" to remind yourself to touch base with people every so often. E-mail can be useful for a quick note, but do not blast the same message to your entire mailing list: touch base with people on an individual basis.
It's also important to make a point of getting in touch even when you don't need to ask for help or make a sale. People who only touch base when they want something of you are regarded as parasites. The examples the author provides, by way of anecdotes, are salesmen who touch base with clients to talk about their mutual non-business interests, or to ask a question, or to share a bit of news on a topic of interest.
Ideally, a relationship is equitable: each side gives as good as he gets. But in some instances, you may find yourself giving a lot and getting little in return. In business, it's appropriate to "fire" a customer or end a relationship when the cost of maintain the connection exceeds the value you are getting in return ... though there are periods when you may have to be more giving than others, generally when there is a long-term relationship.