Foreword

The author describes a problem in pharmaceutical sales: sales reps have about two to three minutes to "pitch" a new drug to doctors, and is was considered that being able to spend more time with prospects and customers would result in more sales. However, the problem is not unique to that industry.

The author notes that relationships are a critical factor in the quality, richness, and success in life, not merely in a business sense, but also personally: the people who report feeling the "most fulfilled" are those with quality relationships. Looking into relationships, the author conceived of a schema in which there are six levels (to be discussed later in the book) - and in most instances, they represent dwindling numbers: a person may have many low-level relationships but only a small handful of high-level ones.

Back to his client, he reasoned that if the sales representatives could move up the relationship pyramid, they would deal with fewer customers, but the customers with whom they dealt would give them more time, better attention, and probably better reciprocation (in terms of sales).

The author "assumed" that the question of how to improve relationships had already been answered by Carnegie (How to Win Friends and Influence People), Boothman (How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less) and others. He reviewed these books, and found them to be full good advice and "unimpeachable" suggestions - largely centering on the notion of being other-focused. Even so, they seemed somewhat random and lacked a concrete sense of purpose and process.

Anecdotally, he mentions that he frequently asks successful people two questions. First: are relationships important? The answer is a unanimous "yes." Second: what does your company teach employees about how to build relationships? The answer is an equally unanimous "nothing at all." He believes that this is because companies seek to foster behavior that is immediately beneficial in a measurable way: sales training is hard-nosed deal-closing that encourages salesmen to treat customers the way that con artists treat their victims. And the short-term results are increased sales. But the long-term effects are detrimental customer loyalty, even a sense of aversion to your representatives and your company, and make for a harsh and hostile interaction that is damaging not only to your business, but to the corporate culture and the quality of life.

The author seeks a softer approach that seeks long-term results. Much like dating or parenting, it's a softer, more gentle approach that seeks not to gain a short term advantage at the expense of another person, but to develop a meaningful, lasting relationship that is not only pleasant, but mutually beneficial. And tying this back to relationships, it's critical not only to professional success, but a greater sense of happiness and satisfaction in life.