Appendix - Influence Without Manipulation

I'm adding this note of caution to each page of my notes because the title is misleading: the author advocates a softer approach to persuasion, but his tactics are often still manipulative. In many instances he proposes a subtler form of manipulation, but one which is still manipulative. I don't expect he has bad intentions, but lacks sufficient knowledge in the areas of rhetoric and psychology to correctly identify and avoid manipulative tactics entirely.

The appendix to the book summarizes some of the differences between manipulators and influencers - seems a good summary and something that can be meditated upon, so I'm preserving it:

• Learn to use a consistent process rather than situation-specific tactics
• Focus on the process of a sales conversation, rather than being obsessive about the outcome.
• Trust is earned in the process, not demanded in advance
• A commitment must likewise be earned before it is demanded, and demanding it prematurely damages trust and your chances for success
• You must also earn the right to have a conversation with someone before engaging with them.
• Be aware of your "personal feelings" and proceed only if you feel comfortable. (EN: This seems a sloppy shortcut regarding ethics, and it is likely more important to consider the "feelings" of the other party.)
• Lead the other person by asking the right questions, rather than compelling them to accept the ideas you want them to have
• Lead the other person to recognizing their problem, seeing the value of your solution, and realizing its urgency (the cost of inaction)
• Show empathy for the other person's discomfort and recognize it as an opportunity to earn trust
• Honesty is critical to trust - people will eventually discover the facts, even when you attempt to avoid, conceal, or misrepresent them.
• Do not be upset by objections, but see them as an indication that you must continue to problem-solve.
• The implementation of a solution determines whether the customer will be loyal - do not vanish once the contract is signed.