Not a People Person
A common phrase is that a person would "rather be respected than liked," which is generally an excuse for not attempting to correct their own offensive and antisocial behavior. The two are not mutually exclusive - in fact, people generally have more genuine respect for those who respect them in return, and people who are personable have greater charisma and are more influential.
Sounding Likable
The author provides a handful of random tips:
- Engage in small talk - It humanizes you, and makes you seem interested in others. However, ask questions (How's the family? What did you do on vacation?) rather than volunteering information.
- Ask for Advice - People generally like to give advice, and it makes them feel flattered to be asked to share their expertise
- Be self-deprecating - Being open about weaknesses expresses vulnerability, makes people more forgiving about your mistakes
- Tell Anecdotes - Sharing personal experiences humanizes a person. If you can use personal experience to underscore a point in conversation, you seem more genuinely engaged
- Broaden your knowledge - Having a bit of knowledge about a wide range of subjects gives you the ability to ask people meaningful questions about their interests. The author suggests being "three paragraphs deep" on as many things as possible.
- Use full-on flattery - A compliment goes a long way toward making people feel good about themselves, and showing that you appreciate them.
In some instances, the author suggests that you can go "too far," but that is probably true of all of these things.
Looking Likable
The author suggests that people often say that another person "looks" likable, approachable, pleasant, etc. and suggests that it is often a matter of posture and expression. However, it's vague and not suggestive of any practical approach or even specific examples.