5: Exploring Assumptions
The author provides a (rather protracted) narrative about a situation in which inaccurate assumptions about the motivation for another person's behavior led to a negative mind-set about an individual, and a harsh reaction that was embarrassing and clearly inappropriate when the truth came to be known. In this sense, it's important to recognize when you're making assumptions about behavior, to be aware that you may be coming to the wrong conclusion, and to work on communication to address the issue.
Assumptions Form Bias
In any relationship, people make assumptions and tend to assume the worst. This is particularly true in employee-supervisor relations, in which the employee is in a disempowered position, which colors their perception of their boss's behavior.
We also tend to look for evidence that will support our assumptions and dismiss evidence to the contrary - wanting to believe that our initial reaction was "right." And because of selective perception, we come to feel more confident in an assumption. With repetition, this confidence becomes a bias that leads us to accept these assumptions as facts, which biases the way in which we will perceive any future behavior.
(EN: The author doesn't mention that a "positive" bias can be just as damaging. When we have a positive expectation of someone and they fail to live up to it, the emotional reaction is disproportionate and we tend to be less forgiving. )
The problem with biases is that they form beliefs that lead us accept and cling to the most obvious conclusion without adequately considering the facts of a situation. If your bosses dismisses your suggestion, stating that it "won't work," you may take this as a sign that he's they type to dismiss any ideas that aren't his own - without considering what other factors may have led him to dismiss the suggestion: you might have had better success if you presented it in a different way, there may have been a similar idea in the past that didn't work out, etc. (EN: My sense is the example oversimplifies the issue and suggests the exact same logical flaw. To assume there must be a positive reason is inherently no different than to assume there must always be a negative reason.)
Changing Perspectives is Hard
Changing assumptions is difficult. Our natural inclination is to learn from experience, rather than to ignore it, and the longer you've been in a given situation, them ore deeply ingrained you become. It requires setting aside the conclusions in which we are confident, and which we feel have been proven out consistently enough to be counted upon, and instead going back to re-assess our ways of thinking: to re-examine the evidence with an open mind, to consider other explanations for behavior.
There an example that suggests assumptions work both ways: an employee under the yoke of a micro-manager assumes that the boss is going to be critical of his work no matter what he says - and as such, he accepts criticism without pushing back at all. Meanwhile, the boss witnesses this behavior and assume that the employee isn't very thorough in his work and needs more guidance to make sure he's thought things through.
In this scenario, the author suggests that if the employee drops his assumption that the boss will "always" find fault and provides an explanation for doing things a certain way, rather than merely accepting orders, then the manager will be compelled to change his own assumption and consider that the employee may not need such close supervision.
Modifying Assumptions
Not all assumptions are accurate, but neither are they entirely inaccurate. Ultimately, the answer isn't to abandon all your conclusions and treat every situation as if there were no experience to predict behavior. However, you should take care to determine the validity of pas conclusions.
- Acknowledge Assumptions - Recognize that your immediate reaction is superficial and should not be taken as a firm conclusion. Consider other motives and additional evidence to validate your assumption.
- Avoid Generalizations - A generalization is an "always" or 'never" assumption that enables us to jump to a conclusion without considering the evidence or a particular situation.
- Gather Evidence - Assumptions are often made, and are most often wrong, when we have incomplete information to come to a more informed conclusion. If you listen attentively and ask questions, you can uncover more evidence.
- Avoid Discrediting - When your assumptions about a given person leads you to discredit anything they have to say, you are pointedly ignoring facts that are contrary to your assumptions.
Values and Perceptions
The chapter concludes with an "exercise"
First, the author presents a list of values and suggests the reader rather them in terms of their importance: autonomy, control, a sense of belonging, stability, material rewards, esteem, tradition, tolerance, service, competitiveness, loyalty, growth, competence, recognition, etc.
In a general sense, consider how each of your personal values influences the way in which you perceive others, especially those who do not share these values. Consider not only the effect of a person who does not value the things you do, but who places greater value on the things you consider to be of lesser importance.
In the context of a specific situation, consider the degree to which the importance of these values changes and the trade-offs you will make to uphold one to the detriment of others.
And finally, an (implied) but of advice: to attempt to understand the values of the other party, to attempt to communicate with them on the basis of their values rather, and to attempt to find a means of cooperating based on shared values rather than competing based on those that are not shared.