3: Hoping, Coping, and Compromising
The author notes that people he has encountered who have suffered under tyrants often express that others don't know how bad their situation is, or would not believe the extent of their boss's behavior.
They doubt their own assessment, or fear that others will believe they are not "strong enough" to cope with a firm command. And in some instances, this may even be a fair assessment - which makes it all the harder to accept when the situation is a valid problem.
Internal vs. External Points of View
The author contrasts two employees who work under the same boss - one considers him to be a tyrant, the other thinks of him as being a "normal" manager. In some instances, this is the result of a person's point of view: a person who takes an "external" point of view considers things outside of themselves affect them, whereas a person whose viewpoint is "internal" sees the environment as a given and focuses on the way they choose to react to it. (EN: The use of external/internal seems a bit unusual here.)
In this sense, the "external" person chooses to accept of find ways to work around their boss's behavior: they appease and they accommodate. They do not feel empowered to influence the environment, so they seek to minimize the impact by avoidance.
Another example is given of two salesmen who are having a rough year. One of them "externalizes" the problem, accepts that it's a weak economy and he can't change that. The other "internalizes" the problem and seeks ways that he can adapt to better succeed, given the situation.
Hoping, Coping, and Compromising
The author describes the behavior of an "external" person as hope, cope, and compromise: hoping the situation will change on its own, coping with it until that occurs, and compromising themselves in the process - and examines each of these behaviors in detail in the sections that follow.
Hoping is the action of a person who recognizes a problem, but does not feel they have the power to solve it. They have a general hope that the situation will change (hoping the boss will be transferred, or hoping a headhunter will call them), but more specific hopes that arise day-to-day (hoping something happens to move a deadline). The notion of hope is important to some religions, a balm for those who practice the virtues of self-sacrifice. And while hope may ease suffering, it doesn't address the cause of the problem.
Coping, meanwhile, is the process of making concessions that will mitigate the symptoms of the disease while doing nothing to cure it. The person who copes has the sense that they are "doping something," but this is generally rationalization of irrational behavior. People who "cope" will seek to find ways to abide a situation, tell themselves "there are worse companies to work for," or regard their work as "just a job" and not worth worrying about. Fundamentally, these are not actions, but excuses for not taking action.
The author lists some stereotypical behaviors that are common to people who are coping with a bad situation.
- Rebel - The individual who merely "acts out" to vent their frustration, rebelling in small and meaningless ways.
- Subversive - The individual who looks for covert ways to "get even" with the boss
- Lickspittle - The individual who seeks to curry favor so that the boss will vent his ire on other employees instead of himself
- Whiner - A similar strategy, but different tactic to the lickspittle is the person who makes themselves disagreeable so the boss won't want to deal with them and bother other people instead.
The drawback to assuming each of these roles is that it undermines the professional integrity of a person who assumes them, diminishing their value and credibility to both the boss, their peers, and others in the organization.
Compromise is another tactic for adjusting to an intolerable situation: the worker sees each interaction with their boss as "giving up" something in order to get something else: if you work weekends, you will earn the tyrant's respect; if you accept and endorse a bad idea, the tyrant will regard you as a team player; if you meet unreasonable deadlines, the tyrant will reward you with a promotion. Unfortunately, compromise is one-sided: you can adjust your behavior, but there's no guarantee that you will receive anything in return.
Developing an Internal View
What leads to "hoping, coping, and compromising" is a lack of self-confidence: people who feel they have no control assume that the worst will happen, and their primary concern is in how they will handle the consequences.
One tactic the author recommends is to delay analyzing and reacting to a situation. In a negative situation, a person's initial reaction tends to be an emotional rather than rational, and exaggerated. Delay reacting until you have a chance to cool off and think rationally. Some tyrants seek to manipulate people emotionally and count on an immediate reaction that can be used against you - by delaying, you may be accused of being lazy or indecisive, but the ultimate result will be better than acting rashly.
Another tactic is to depersonalize. Rather than being hurt and becoming defensive, which is another thing that a tyrant can exploit, consider how someone other than yourself should react. Ignore any personal attacks, consider only the facts of the situation, and consider what "a person" in that position should do.
Also, consider putting together an action plan. Most tyrants use the same tactics repetitively, to the point where you have a good sense of what they are going to do or say in a given situation. Having a plan in advance to diffuse the situation "the next time" the tyrant does something specific helps to overcome the paralysis of having to make an on-the-spot decision of how to react when it actually does happen.
Additionally, forming action plans will help you to identify that things that you can do - giving you a sense that you are capable of exerting influence and are not a hapless victim of circumstances. Over time, you will become more capable of recognizing opportunities to "do something" and more confident to actually act upon them.