Chapter 15 - The Importance of Good Listening
The author relates a personal experience: on his way out the door, his mind already on his work, his wife said something to him that didn't even register. He took it for their typical farewell, but she was reminding them that they were meeting friends for dinner. Naturally, he blanked on it, returned home to an empty apartment, and it didn't dawn on him until later that he had completely forgotten the date (and stood up his wife and friends at a restaurant).
Engage in Active Listening
Listening seems to be a passive activity - people talk, their words hit our ears (whether we want them to or not) - but this is merely hearing them speak, not listening to what they say. As a result, we don't really know what they said and will fill the void with our own assumptions, just as illustrated in the opening anecdote. Active listening requires you to focus on what is being said, not merely to hear the words but to understand the message.
The author provides a number of random tips for active listening (EN: But most of them are superficial - facing the speaker, making intermittent eye contact, nodding to show you are being attentive, and the like. Such things would be better called "tips for pretending like you are listening when you really are not.")
Benefits of Active Listening
The primary benefit of active listening is simple enough: you will know what the other person said. You will understand their meaning and their perspective, and be able to respond in a meaningful and relevant manner.
Active listening also enables you to recognize any points of disagreement so that you can resolve them and identify potential areas of conflict that may cause trouble later on. The author suggests hearing them out rather than interrupting, and when they have finished state that "I notice when you referred to X ..." as a way to bring them back to the point in the conversation.
Another benefit is that effective listening is a key to gaining trust: when another person senses you are not listening to them, they recognize that you do not respect them or value their viewpoint - that you are concerned only with your own benefit and not their interests.
The author returns to his 80-20 ratio, the problem of people who talk past one another, and various other communication problems, suggesting that active listening is the solution to them all. If you listen attentively while the client speaks, you will be able to respond intelligently to what was said, and you will naturally speak less and with greater relevance.
Active Listening is An Art
Ultimately, the author shrugs off the topic of active listening as an "art" that you naturally get better at by doing it. Then, he stresses the importance of listening, asserting that good salesmen aren't the ones who speak the most eloquently, but the ones who listen most effectively and interact with clients in a relevant way.