Chapter 8 - International Body Language
This chapter is to be a compilation of insights from body language experts that the author has met through a professional association. She spends quite a bit of time giving brief biographies of each, then presents their perspectives on a number of different common situations.
(EN: Much of this chapter is not so much about nonverbal communication as it is random tips for etiquette in various situations. Interesting but a diversion from the main topic.)
Greeting Behaviors
The handshake has become a universal business greeting, though there are a number of cultural variations in the tightness of the grip and the length of the handshake.
- Britain - Dominant males try to angle their wrist to make their hand the uppermost. Women will drop their gaze during a handshake and disengage first.
- Brazil - Shaking hands is common among stranges, but one you have met someone , it is not unusual for there to be a hug, which is most common among women but is also seen among men and mixed pairs.
- Australia - Handshaking is common, and women are supposed to offer a firm handshake. If a man grips a women's hand too gently, she will assume he's a bit of a chauvinist.
- Mexico - Use the handshake on first meeting, and as the relationship becomes closer it is customary to hug men and kiss women, though they realize Anglos are uncomfortable with this.
- Germany - Shaking hands is an expected greeting. In the south, women may embrace if they know each other well, but it is not seen among men or mixed pairs
- Arabia - Locals (men and women) greet each other with a hug and three kisses on the cheeks. Men will also be seen to bow slightly to women and place their hand over their heart.
- Japan - The Japanese bow to one another, but shake hands with foreigners. The bow is a very formal ritual, carefully practiced, and foreigners never get it quite right. Any other form of touch is highly inappropriate in formal situations.
- India - Shake hands, but the duration is "tricky." A quick and non-domineering handshake works the best, along with an empathetic smile. Men will sometimes hug from the side if they are well acquainted.
- Tanzania - Handshaking is strong and long, and unless either party is a Muslim, it is not uncommon for the junior person to place his left hand on his right wrist as a sign of respect. Women may sometimes kiss on the cheeks.
- Phillipines - A firm handshake with eye contact is typical. A one-cheek "air kiss" is sometimes used when there is a close relationship - though it sometimes happens on parting rather than greeting.
Business Cards
In the US, business cards are very casual - shared with any contact and handed out and accepted without much formality (EN: there are some rules of etiquette the author doesn't discuss related to business cards. See other sources.)
- Britain - Few British people have or use business cards, and it's not uncommon for them to have to update them with a pen because the content is outdated.
- Brazil - Business cards are often placed on a table during a meeting as a reminder of peoples' names.
- China - Business cards are held out with both hands, sometimes while bowing. It's good etiquette to handle the card with respect, and spend a moment reviewing it before putting it away (respectfully).
- Phillipines - The same as China, though the recipient nods (rather than bowing) when receiving a card.
- Trinidad - The senior person must offer his card first, and there is the same pause to inspect it to show interest.
- Australia - Handing out business cards indiscriminately is frowned upon, as contact information is exchanged only when necessary. It's not uncommon for someone to make an excuse to avoid giving their card to someone they don't want to hear from again.
- Mexico - Cards are usually handed out during greeting. They may be kept on top of the table in a meeting, but are always pocketed at a restaurant.
- Germany - Business cards are standard, and they are exchanged with great formality. Germans are very conscious of rank and title of others.
- Arabia - They are exchanged at the start of a meeting as a form of introduction, but without much formality or ceremony.
- Japan - Exchanging cards is highly ritualized, and the ceremony is learned. Cards are provided with both hands and a light bow, held by the upper corners so the card faces the other person.
- India - Designation and rank is important, so taking the time to read the card before putting it away is necessary - to fail to do so gives insult. Taking notes on the back of someone's card is not only acceptable, but is a compliment because it shows interest.
- Tanzania - Cards are exchanged at meetings, and may be passed out individually or passed around the table.
Time (Meetings)
Cultures vary in their perception of time - whether time is treated as a scarce resource or not, whether it is important to be punctual, whether it is acceptable to show impatience, etc.
- Britain - It is considered rude to start meetings in the late afternoon (after about 2:10). Expect that people will be called out of meetings, some will have laptops open and check their phones. Everything stops for tea.
- Brazil - Time is flexible, and people will come up to thirty minutes late, and meetings never end on time. In fact, people seldom specify an "end" time for a meeting.
- China - Meetings are more often spontaneous than scheduled and most Chinese do not keep calendars and will ask you to call them on the day you want to meet to make arrangements. It is not uncommon for people to be fifteen to twenty minutes late.
- Trinidad - Meetings will start precisely on time, but will generally begin with light banter before any business is discussed. End times for meetings are flexible.
- Australia - Punctuality is expected: people will be on time, and anything past ten minutes late is considered bad manners. Likewise, meetings end on time - there are lots of meetings and running over makes people late for other meetings. The exception is for Very Important Persons who are never on time and do not respect other peoples' time, as a show of dominance and importance.
- Mexico - Timing is complex. The junior person is expected to be on time, others may be up to half an hour late. Meetings have no end times and go until they are finished - and putting pressure to make a given end time is considered rude unless there is a reason.
- Germany - Punctuality is important, and people will often arrive ten minutes early and expect to be released promptly on time, if not before to allow time to get to their next meeting. Failure to control a meeting time is seen as unprofessional and sloppy. Meetings follow written agenda with times for each discussion, distributed in advance. One person hosts a meeting and introduces others, explains why they are attending, and serve as time-keeper. At the end of the meeting, there is a formal summary of discussion.
- Arabia - Time is more flexible, given traffic and road conditions, so all meetings are expected to start late. There is casual conversation on informal topics until the last person arrives, and for about five minutes after, before staring the business conversation.
- Japan - Also very punctual. It is acceptable to be about ten minutes late, with an apology, though individuals of higher rank may be fifteen to thirty minutes later and offer no apology or explanation. Beginning on time is critical, but wrapping up is informal and some meetings can run as much as an hour long.
- India - People are so informal about time, there is a joke about IST (India Standard Time) that is actually about twenty minutes behind the actual time. It is acceptable to provide an agenda with timelines to avoid delays. Without one, meetings will start late and people will be more casual. It's also noted that Indians are a lot more verbose than most westerners, so discussions take much longer. It's also common for Indians to wander in and out of a meeting without remark, and this should not be considere rude.
- Tanzania - Punctuality is important: show up on time or five minutes early. Anything later is an insult to the host or an indication that you are not a serious professional. There is usually a formal chairperson who directs conversation and tracks time. Mobile phones are switched off and checking them is rude.
- Phillipines - Time is a bit flexible, though when people of various ranks meet, the senior person can be casual about his own time while expecting others to be punctual.
Distance And Touch
Sentiments about distance and personal contact can differ considerably across cultures, but generally correspond to the degree to which business relationships are considered formal (with power distance) or informal.
- Britain - People stand at least two feet apart when speaking and hardly ever touch business colleagues. To get someone's attention, tap something near them, but don't make physical contact.
- Brazil - People stand or sit "very close" to business colleagues and touching others is more common than in other cultures.
- China - The Chinese stand between one and two feet from each other when speaking, and will sometimes touch another person's arm or shoulder to feel personally connected. It's not considered rude in China to bump into others while speaking or walking, and no apology is needed.
- Trinidad - People stand at about two feet apart and rarely touch. A pat on the shoulder at the end of a good meeting is not uncommon.
- Australia - While Australians are known for being informal, they are uptight about distance. Anything closer than two feet will make people uncomfortable unless the relationship is intimate or your are about to say something confidential. They are really more comfortable at a distance of three to four feet, and often can be seen to stiffen or flinch if touched by a business colleague. Touch between men and women is extremely sensitive, though a light touch on the shoulder indicates affection or appreciation.
- Mexico - People stand "close" and constantly touch. Even if you don't know a person well, they will often touch the arm, shoulder, and back. When people know one another well, they will often touch the leg or thigh of a person they are sitting near.
- Germany - Maintain "a good arm's distance" from one another and rarely touch, though contact is less taboo in southern Germany.
- Arabia - People stand close and there is no concept of personal space - proximity reflects closeness in a relationship and standing too far apart is rude. It's not uncommon for someone to point out that you are standing at too great a distance. However, there is not much touching, particularly between members of the opposite sex due to religious taboos.
- Japan - Prefer a distance of three to four feet, and feel uncomfortable when others stand too close, though they will accept closeness in tight quarters (such as rush-hour trains). Touch is avoided, though sometimes a manager will place a hand on the shoulder of a subordinate, which is meant to be both encouraging and a sign of dominance.
- India - Two feet is a good distance, though senior people will often move closer and invade the space of their inferiors (which is tolerated). Shorter distances are OK as relationships develop but there is always caution between people of different gender. Touch is rare, but a pat on the shoulder or a grasp on the upper arm is not seen as offensive. The "high five" has also come into fashion.
- Tanzania - Typical distance is one to two feet. A light touch or tap on the shoulder is acceptable and not unusual.
- Phillipines - Two feet is considered a good distance, though when the two individuals are of different rank or gender, they tend to keep greater distance. Touch is inappropriate during formal business encounters, but touching of the arms and shoulders is not uncommon in casual atmospheres, such as a social gathering outside the workplace.
Eye Contact
The rules of eye contact vary from one culture to another. In general, eye contact is regarded as aggressive, and is avoided when speaking with someone of a higher rank - but in more egalitarian cultures where status is less emphasized, eye contact is considered respectful.
- Britain - Eye contact is not considered disrespectful, but it's also noted that British will look off "into the air" when listening to another person, particularly when they are discussing an uncomfortable topic or difficult issue.
- Brazil - Eye contact reflects the speaker's confidence in what he is saying.
- Trinidad - Eye contact is common, though eye contact between genders is a bit touchy. Looks that are considered seductive in other cultures are not intended as such by Trinis.
- Australia - Eye contact connotes trustworthiness and respect, and a person who avoids eye contact is seen as untrustworthy. However, "polite breaks" are required to avoid causing discomfort a, as a hard glare is unsettling
- Arabia - Same as Australia
- Mexico - Always look other people in the eyes
- Germany - Ditto.
- Japan - A speaker maintains constant eye contact to show certainty in his statements, but the listener should avoid making too much eye contact as it implies he disapproves of what is being said.
- India - "Empathetic" eye contact is encouraged to engender trust between people. It implies honesty when speaking and interest when listening, though staring at someone when you are not speaking to them is considered discourteous.
- Tanzania - Eye contact is moderate. Too much implies aggressiveness between same-gender pairs or seductiveness in mixed-gender pairs.
- Philippines - It is currently acceptable to maintain eye contact to show engagement and sincerity, but this is a recent change and some people are still uncomfortable with it, and will look away or down on occasions.
China - The Chinese avoid eye contact and consider it rude to start directly into another person's eyes.
Seating
Seating arrangements are largely focused on function and status: whether you are a guest or a host at a meeting, and what the rank and relationships between parties.
- Britain - The senior person always sits at the head of the table, and those along the sides tend to sort themselves by rank, highest near the senior person
- Brazil - The senior person sits at a head or in the middle, flanked by his assistance. The next senior sits across from him or to his right.
- China - The senior person sits facing the door across the table. People of greatest importance sit next to him
- Trinidad - People wait for the most senior person to take a set, as he pleases. Business partners normally sit opposite one another.
- Australia - Can seem very casual about seating, though the person hosting the meeting sits at the head, and people will sometimes ask the host where they ought to sit.
- Mexico - the senior person sits at the head.
- Germany - The senior person sits at the head or the middle of a side, with an aide seated to his right. The second most important person sits across from the senior person.
- Arabia - The senior person sits at the head and leads the discussion
- Japan - Senior executives sit in the middle of the table, and people radiate outward by rank. Guests are usually seated furthest from the exit door.
- India - The senior person sits at the head. Where a meeting includes people outside the firm (such as a supplier), the two parties sit on opposite sides of the table - the senior person of the other party would sit at the opposite head of the table
- Tanzania - The host or chairman sits at the head, with visitors at the opposite side. For internal meetings, senior people take one side and junior people the other.
- Phillipines - The senior person takes the head, and the host will often nonverbally indicate to other guests where they ought to sit. It's common for the first people to attend to leave empty chairs between them.
Emotional Display
The degree to which cultures are stoic or display emotion in formal business transactions varies. In emotive cultures those who are too stoic are seen as disinterested; in stoic cultures those who are too emotional are seen as unprofessional.
- Britain - The British are fairly stoic, though they do feel themselves to be less stuffy than those from Nordic countries. Sarcasm and irony are valued as forms of humor, as they do not require dramatic reactions. To be cool and aloof connotes being in control. Any other emotional display is considered undisciplined.
- Brazil - People are very emotional. It is not uncommon to discuss personal topics (families and personal lives) before getting to business, and emotional display is common.
- China - The Chinese can get emotional during meetings. Laughing loudly and raising one's voice is not considered rude, but a sign of engagement.
- Trinidad - Displays of positive emotion such as happiness and mirth are common, but displays of negative emotion such as anger or disappointment are perceived as irrational.
- Australia - Business dealings should be devoid of emotion, as should any conduct in the workplace. Displaying emotion is a sign of lack of discipline.
- Mexico - Displays of emotion are common. Should the emotional climate become too negative, someone will tell a joke or chat about some unrelated topic to let people calm down.
- Germany - Most displays of emotion are considered unacceptable, except for emotions used to communicate dominance and aggression. People will commonly raise their voices and use an accusatory tone, particularly in negotiations. Signs of dominance and power gain respect.
- Arabia - People do get emotional and show their displeasure, though if they become personally hostile it is taken as a serious threat (in Dubai, being aggressive can land you in jail)
- Japan - Is traditionally encouraged to remain entirely expressionless. However, this is changing slowly and younger or more progressive executives are beginning to express their emotions, though still in subtle ways.
- India - Indians generally repress their emotions in business dealings, but are fond of sharing positive emotions (happiness and mirth) and will demonstrate concern and empathy for others. However, anything disrespectful or demeaning to others is inappropriate.
- Tanzania - Emotions can be shown, but in a suppressed manner - your facial expression and tone of voice may be used to communicate emotion, but raising one's voice or gesturing is not acceptable. Expressing frustration or sadness is a sign of weakness, and people are very uptight about blue language and humor.
- Philippines - Exercise restraint and propriety, but signs of happiness are common in the culture. Expressing negative emotions is questionable, and causing others to be embarrassed is extremely rude.
Women
Gender is often derivative of status: in class-conscious cultures, women are generally regarded as being of lower rank, but in egalitarian ones they are treated as peers. There are a few exceptions.
- Britain - Is largely egalitarian, though only women will serve refreshments. She does not lose face in doing so, even if she is the senior person in the room. In an all-male meeting, a common question is "Who will be mother?" which allows a man to do this without losing face.
- China - Chinese men may compliment the appearance of women, calling them attractive or pretty, and it is not considered inappropriate, merely friendly. (EN: No comment ior gender status in general.)
- Mexico - Mexican culture is male-dominant, though men tend to attempt to behave better in the presence of women, unless the women in the meeting are well known and has come to be regarded as "one of the guys"
- Germany - Germans like to believe they are advanced in terms of gender equality, but this is not the case. Women in leadership roles are rare, and they are taken less seriously than men in meetings. Women are better accepted and respected when they tone down their femininity and adopt male behaviors.
- India - India is respectful of women, and the reverence conferred to the gender enables women in business to "get things done with a smile"
- Phillipines - Also revere women. Men take a less forceful approach in dealing with them out of respect, but also tend to take their input less seriously.
- Brazil - Is becoming more egalitarian, but unlike countries in which egalitarian reduces gender differences, Brazilians respect that women will act like women and men will act like men.
Loose Bits
In her interviews with cultural coaches from various cultures, a few random bits of advice popped up that the author feels are worth mentioning.
- Trinidad - Their main complaint is that Americans tend to be arrogant and callus to the concerns of others and tend to avoid socializing with the locals.
- India - Indians are very relationship-oriented and establishing trust will facilitate interactions and negotiations. Also, always keep positive forward-looking emotions, even if you fail to get what you want this time, there is always the possibility of re-encountering the same people.
- Mexico - People who talk business first usually fail in Mexico. Business is about relationships 60% of the time, and getting to know people before talking business is not optional.
- Germany - German culture is not uniform. People in the (Catholic) south are much less reserved and stoic than those in the (protestant) north. People in the (formerly Soviet) east are different to those in the west.